This week, I’ve won the Spanish lottery, the British lottery and a Dutch lottery. I’ve inherited hundreds of thousands of dollars from a “relative” in Asia and a “former business partner” of mine just died and left me another few million dollars.

I also won the Greencard lottery, and all I need to do is wire $890 to a suspicious foreign account.

I’ve received an “unbeatable voucher” for hair removal and I’ve had the offer to buy – not earn – diplomas in several professional fields of study. I think I might choose to be a doctor, or should I get a diploma for blogging?

All I can think of when I receive all this spam is the television ad featuring an elderly man in front of a computer who yells to his wife “Honey, I just won the Australian lottery!” She calmly replies, “Did you ever play the Australian lottery?” and he says “No.” “Then how could you win?”

I haven’t played or entered any of these lotteries. Perhaps it’s time to figure out why my spam filter isn’t working properly on my work email.